I used to cry..

I have a habit to erase the bad memories from my brain as soon as I can and I do it so good that sometimes I make up some good memories instead of the bad ones. I don’t know should I call it as a habit, or not, because I don’t do it intentionally, it just happens. I’m not saying I never remember any, but sometimes my brain really surprises me with its forgetting ability.

I don’t remember the beginning of this habit, but I remember that I haven’t liked it for a long time. I still sometimes don’t like it because forgetting brings unlimited forgiveness beside and unlimited forgiveness may sometimes hurt you in a lot of ways. But despite the harm, it creates a very peaceful relief inside not to remember a bad incident and to feel empty. Anyways, as I said I don’t remember the exact start of this forgetting and forgiving, but I certainly know that I have this virtue by the help of my sister.

I used to cry when someone stopped me on the way while I was driving my sister’s stroller, which she used for a very long time, and asked me is there a problem with her..

I used to cry when children left the park because of getting scared of her..

I used to cry when I saw her crying when all the kids left the park and she started swinging by herself..

I used to cry when our ‘normal’ neighbors jumped on top of our apartment in the middle of the night because they got disturbed of the sound of the music my sister listened and they decided to give a lesson to us..

By those times, while I was feeling anger and enmity to those people, she was still trying to hug and kiss them. While I wasn’t able to think anything good, she was achieving to be ok and to forget in a way after a while. And I noticed that she was way happier than me by doing so. May be this was her secret.

And now I know that this is her secret. Actually it’s not a secret. Let people be bad, thoughtless by themselves..As one said “Forgiveness is the relief from the past”. Just enjoy your relief..